I typically don’t open up my heart to discuss my relationships, but I feel like I need to get this off my chest. Over the past two months, I have been in an unhealthy on and off relationship with a man named TF. He’s ugly, he makes me ill and he oppresses me. I hope you never have to meet him or be involved with him. Yes, I’m selfish, I don’t want to share.
My mom had introduced us, brought him into our house. He had a scratchy voice and a depressingly dark aura. I felt a little sorry for him, but I definitely didn’t want to be involved. Yet somehow, he became attached to me and visited me every day. He kissed me on the lips, on the throat, on the chest. He made me hot, sweaty and feverish. I wanted to push him away, but I couldn’t stop him and I couldn’t stop myself. Even when I went out, he tagged along and made me miserable. I would often stay at home with him and skip out on hanging with friends, doing exercise, or going to poetry events. I even worked from home to satisfy his needs, telling everyone I was ill. He oppressed me and suppressed me. I hated him. I fought with him, I struggled with him and pushed him away. I was happy to be myself again.
That was in December. He came back in January and did the exact same thing. God, he is so ugly, I hate him! He won’t leave me alone! I learned some Chinese magic to counter his Dark Arts and then he left, but not for good. He came back again in the Lunar New Year as if to haunt me and taunt me and my Chinese magic. This time, he did it with full force and took away my voice. I could not talk for 2 days. Oppression, suppression, depression, he was the mastermind who kept me in bed with him all day long as he played with my chest from the inside. I whimpered in pain and sadness. I felt dirty and sick. I wanted to spit all over him, but instead I could only cough at my bedside. I was determined to break free from his grasp, once and for all. I poisoned him with Mucinex and he started to dissipated, little by little. I did not want to leave any memory of him behind, as I spit all his colorful gifts of green, yellow and brown mucus down the drain. Pretty soon, he will be long gone and forgotten and my days of darkness will be over.
February 20, 2015 – I am breaking up with The Flu.