My ears perk up –
ting, ting, ting –
jangling chains
down the hallway
and I know it’s HIM,
as my heart
starts beating
bump bump,
bump bump.

Breathe in,
breathe out,
I face forward,
staring
at my screen,
pretending
not to care.
A smile creeps
onto my lips.
He’s here.

His simple presence
makes my day.
His close proximity
puts me on edge,
a mix of nervousness
surrounded by
a sweetness,
a warmth
that I
cannot
describe.

I avoid his eyes
and watch his lips
as he speaks.

His voice
soothing to my ears,
yet I don’t hear
a word
he says.

I want to touch him,
but I won’t.
I want to kiss him,
but I can’t.
I want him to go
so I don’t feel
this internal
battle.

Yet, I want him to stay
because I don’t want
to feel
this…
emptiness…
as if nothing…
was ever…
there.