Raw Emotions

I found this old collage from my college days and decided to write a poem about it.  I hope it touches you =)

Raw Emotions

In a stifling room,
you hold your breath…
fighting for control
as you stagger and lean,
flailing your arms internally,
as your chest rises and burns…

It’s like you’re drowning
underwater, struggling
to breathe.

It’s like you’re a dying
engine, sputtering
but won’t start.

It’s like you’re a match
flickering and wavering,
struggling to be lit
at the mercy
of the wind.

An escape for air,
a little sniffle,
a single tear,
a tiny scream, a slight
hesitation…

No longer contained,
your head above water,
gasping for air…

The engine starts
and ROARS,
the match BURSTS
into flames.

All control is lost
as you SCREAM
in agony, SHRIEK
in pain, HOLLER
in madness
with tears
and snot
and drool,
HOWLING
like an infant,
like a toddler.

The world knows
you are not pretty.
You are not perfect,
only human
in the rawest sense.

emotions

Poetry in the Form of Alternative Photography

As a Photography Major in college, I took many photo classes and discovered that my most powerful pieces were the the ones that spoke to my soul.  These pieces usually incorporated elements of my poetry and they illustrated who I was as a person.  I mainly do art for myself, and not so much for others, so I think my friend was right on when he said I was an “artist” and not a “designer.”

The following pieces were part of a project I did in Alternative Photography (if I remember correctly)

Reflection
Inverted Photo Collage on Transparency

Childhood Dreams
Black & White Photography

Kaleidoscope of Colors
Photo Collage on Transparency

Love Fades
Black & White Photo with Tissue Paper

Emotionless Wall
Black & White Photo Collage

Emotionless Wall

Last week I posted about what it meant to be an INTJ personality type and how it affected my emotions (or lack thereof).  I thought it would be fitting to post a poem I wrote many years ago that described my emotional capacity.

Emotionless Wall

Blurs of people,Emotionless Wall
swirls of feelings,
surrounding, engulfing,
suffocating me.

They are laughing,
smiling, joking,
screaming and crying,
burning the streets with passion,
waiting in anticipation,
cowering in fear,
drowning in endless tears,
but they do not move me.

“Her father is dead,”
so I’ve heard.
But hard as I try,
I cannot cry.
Not one single tear
to show that I care…

I want to feel for her,
I want to share her pain,
but I can’t do a thing.
I can’t say a word of comfort,
I can’t say I understand.

Sympathy, empathy…
they are beyond me.
All my emotions
buried deep down inside.
I dig and I pry,
but hard as I try,
I still cannot cry.

I only nod and gaze,
wondering if I’m human,
‘cuz I can’t feel a thing,
not a thing at all,
an emotionless wall.